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Dear Dino's Rules For Life- partial list

#1- Don't do dumb stuff.

#2- If you want to know if an animal bites, look for a mouth. If it's got a mouth, it bites. Confused? See Rule #1

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#3- Animals have no sense of humor. Confused? See Rule #1

#4- If you keep big, meat eating creatures in your home, keep their belly full.

#5- The hissing noise you hear when you turn on your tv is not static, it's a sucking sound. There's something behind the screen that can suck all the smart right out of your brain. To get smart right away, turn the tv off. The longer it's off, the smarter you get. To get smarter quicker, read. drop waist items to wear of the wedding

#6- Learning or imitating anything from tv and movies will kill you quicker, put you in the hospital quicker, or in a jail cell quicker than anything else on earth. Confused? See Rule #1

#7- Don't worry how to tell the difference between an alligator or crocodile. If you are in or near water, and you see one- get out! Who cares if it's an alligator or crocodile?

#8- If attacked by a croc on land, RUN! Really, really fast! And scream! Scream as loud as you can. It won't do anything to stop the attack, but you're going to be screaming in a few seconds when he grabs you anyways, might as well start now....

#9- Men, if you're in the dating scene, date a female serial killer. What they will do to end the relationship eventually will be kinder than what most women do...

#10- If you suddenly come upon a venomous snake, take one giant step back. Don't freeze like on tv. One giant step back puts you out of range of the strike of 99.7% of all the venomous snakes on earth.

#11- If you see a venomous snake anywhere, leave it alone. The majority of venomous snake bites occur when people try to kill them, move them, capture them, or, a recent fad, kissing them. Confused? See Rule #1

#12- Swatting a spider that is on your skin is the BEST way to get bitten by a spider. This works for bees and wasps as well. Confused? See Rule #1

#13- Never buy an exotic pet on impulse, thoroughly research it first. And when you're ready to go shopping for it? Smell the cage. You may change your mind. Confused? See Rule #1

#14- DO NOT take your albino or nocturnal pets out to enjoy the sun! Confused? See rule #1

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